HERMELINDO RUIZ

Paula

Well, welcome to Let's Fermata! Today I'm with Hermelindo Ruiz Mestre and it's a special episode because it's very unplanned. Actually, Hermelindo came to visit us here in Canada because besides being a super guitarist, he's my husband's best friend, Christopher Matthew's, and also our wedding godfather. So we've had a few days of pretty deep conversations and I've decided, well, let's record right away to see if something we've talked about or new things come up. So welcome Hermelindo.

Hermelindo

Welcome. You know Paula?... thinking about it... I came back from a tour in Asia and I took a fermata at the house of... of Paula and Christopher, who are... they are, they are my family. So I'm very happy to support the project and do a musical fermata that is now a fermata on record.

Paula

Hermelindo, I don't even know where to start because we've talked about so many things. But one of the things we've talked about is that you've been very active in many projects and those moments of rest. I mean, what all the energy is like, what you invest. I don't know what you want to share about that.

Hermelindo

The good thing is that we have around an hour to talk, right?, (Yes) or more or (Yes) less. So we're going to go little by little (Little by little) because there are so many topics. So, I think that one of the interesting things is that I'm coming from a tour. So I'm tired. I'm recording, right?... I was sleeping for two or three days. So, sometimes when artists speak in public, well, you get the excitement of the event you're going to do, of the project you're going to do... and I come back a little bit like summarizing how tired, how difficult the project was. So, yes... maybe I can talk about rest, (Yes) I do believe that, right? - we can start there - that we are not taught how to rest in the middle of projects. And the musical career is so complex. There are so many details, always the... the standard of classical music that we do is so high, that many times what is asked is to "finish a project, go on to the next, go on to the next, go on to the next." So I think that this week is literal evidence, now public, that I like to take time with my friends, with my family, right? That it is not all about running and running with projects, but that there is time to rest, to... stop. (Yes) Literal fermata.

Paula

Yes, but the interesting thing is that Hermelindo also wanted to come a long time ago. But it was like that... I think you had said that you were busier than you expected you were going to be. So it's been like months and months, and this was even something spontaneous, right? Like until the end.

Hermelindo

Very true. Since Christopher is one of my best friends. Now, Paula, I'm their wedding godfather, I feel very obligated to share with you, and then it was very difficult for me. I think I had been trying to come here for almost a year, and I couldn't come because of the musical projects. Well, I was very busy. So there are a lot of details. I don't know where you want to take it, but some of the things that I can think about... The career of a musician involves a lot of practice, a lot of things that weren't done before. I love this project that you are doing because it is a more modern way, right? it is an updated way of approaching music, right? to other corners, to people who are music lovers. Even giving this information to other musicians that sometimes one does not dare to ask. It happened to me now in Japan, imagine. I was with my... on the tour of Japan, I was with one of the great guitarists of Costa Rica, Adrián Montero. And then for a few days, we stayed in the same lodging in the same, in... in a house. And he asked me some questions as if it were almost as if it were a daring thing to ask. Because one doesn't dare, right? And so I think that, uh, one of the challenges that we have today is how we update ourselves to the times that we are living, right? And that involves experiencing a lot of things that weren't done before. Before, you didn't have to worry about being an artist making videos for social media, having a... that it looks good, being able to send it frequently, it's very difficult.

Paula

And that's mostly... do you do that work alone? All of it?

Hermelindo

I do almost everything alone. Yes.

Paula

In my case, I think this is the first time I'm getting into this technological part. And while we were doing the set-up for today, I mean, it's really still like little by little that I'm learning every day. But, indeed, I feel that now, artists, there are two parts: one, it's much easier for someone to say: "Oh, Hermelindo," they'll look for you on the networks, and there's accessibility to you. But for the same reason, it's so accessible to everyone that there's a lot. So you can get lost in that. So you have to constantly look for how to do something. "How do I make this video? How do I do my branding, etc., so that it's interesting within the sea of ​​possibilities that exist?" I admire you in that aspect because I'm not, no... I'm just learning these things, but I definitely think that we should all be taught a little more about this. We were talking about that a little bit too, right?, about your ideas of putting this in music programs as well.

Hermelindo

Of course. It's a transition. So... we are not too special when you think about it. At some point, agriculture was not done, and suddenly they started doing agriculture, and then everyone had to go live the lifestyle that agriculture caused. But I congratulate you, because, in a certain way, the training that we came from is training where they did not prepare us for this reality. And you are mentioning something that is very important. That... yes, technology, social networks, well, they give us access to many more people. But then... we were talking off-camera about the subject of production, which is a subject that we still do not know how to do efficiently, right? And I congratulate you because you are doing the most important thing, which is to launch yourself to do it. (Yes) And if you do not launch yourself, you do not...

Paula

Of course.

Hermelindo

(I mean) You are left behind.

Paula

Yes, I think that's what I was saying. It's a process that I say... many times, in general, I think that we human beings limit ourselves out of fear that it won't be perfect, that it won't become what we have in our heads. But the problem is that with that, many times things don't get done. So I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to fight with years of doubting myself and saying: "No, it's not ready yet. It has to be more polished, more perfect for it to be worth something." And now I say: "No, I'm going to release it, and that's it. And in the process, I'm learning." I think that... I mean, I don't know. I see it in everything. Even in the cello. Like in my way of studying, of preparing concerts. Before, it was like: "No. Well, the recital and everything well organized." I don't know what the experience is like for you in preparing programs, but for me, everything was very square, and if it wasn't at a certain point, well, I suffered the whole recital. Basically like all of that preparation was done for nothing.

Hermelindo

There are a lot of topics that you mentioned there.

Paula

Yes...

Hermelindo

Tremendous. You know that last summer... we are recording this in August 2024 (Aha) and last summer, I wrote a piece of music. I was commissioned by the Guitar Foundation of America, which is one of the most prestigious guitar organizations on the entire planet. So they commissioned me, they asked me for a piece of music, but they gave me a free theme. I could write whatever I wanted. What happens is that I said: "I want it to be something special, but I don't know how to do it." And the issue of fear was with me. The exact same thing was happening to me. I was trying to let go of all the fears. A little bit even the way they teach us many times, with good intentions, they teach us music in a certain way. But when you come to the practical reality, right? of concerts, of trips, it is very different. So, last summer, I wrote a composition that I titled A Letter to Fear. So, the piece, I think one of the things...I don't know if it's interesting or not, but well, I think it is. But one of the things that was cool is that I didn't write the piece so much to scare the audience. Because it's a piece that I wrote in sheet music, the musician can play it. I didn't write the letter to fear to scare the audience. I...the piece says it when you read the score...the piece is in a certain way like an attempt to try to get the musicians to try to lose their fears through the piece. Because, well, fears alone are a topic that we can talk about at length.

Paula

Yes. Well, and apart from that piece, how has it been for you to confront fear? Because from the outside, it can be seen, or, you are a super-talented person who has a lot of achievements. But I think that what would interest me in these podcasts is to say: "Look, fear is always there." But I want to know what it's been like for you.

Hermelindo

Fear is always there and the funny thing is that the more things you are doing, the more fear there is. At least in my case, I am going to talk about my case. Sometimes I feel guilty that when one is publishing achievements through social media… notice that in social media we only share the achievements. (Mhmm) So that is a problem because people are seeing the achievements. But many times it happens to me that if I shared three achievements in a month, there were a lot of fears, a lot of problems. And many times, the more achievements there are in a month, the more problems there were. At least with fear, I invited him to my house and I said: "Look, I'm going to make you a… I'm going to give you a space so that you can come in whenever you want." Because we cannot go against our nature. But I must say that over the years certain tools have appeared, certain people who have helped me a little bit to get rid of fears that are internal. Because, sometimes, or I don't know if they are internal or external, but sometimes one is afraid of what others will say, afraid of things being perfect. Those are fears that I have learned are not so important. Fear of so many things that it may be that I am not prioritizing my life well. I am not dedicating too much time to my family. There is a fear, right? of "Oh, no. Well, I don't know if I should be practicing cello more or if I should be with my parents more, in my case, or something like that." So in my case, definitely what you say: fear is always there. Yes, I have been able to identify it better, because also... so that the mind doesn't fool you, you don't fool yourself. There are many fears that are also nonsense of the mind. So it is difficult, right? To know which is which.

Paula

What you said reminded me of a book that I read recently called "Big Magic." And I loved it because she made this idea that she was driving the car. And then, when you are driving the car, you have to always tell fear: “You can sit in the back seat, but you can’t drive.” And I think that in my brain, many of the times when I had a lot of problems in music and other things in my life, it was like fear. I was afraid that it was in the car. The solution for me was "get out because if I am afraid, I can't." And in the end, now I try to think but… it’s just that courage doesn’t exist without fear. Because otherwise, what would courage be? Courage is like facing those things, right? But well, and apart from fear, outside of… of music. I wanted to ask you about that very thing because you travel a lot, you do a lot of things… How has that personal growth been for you during your travels? Every time you go somewhere you are getting to know a new culture. And I think we were talking about how you were recently in Japan, and you still have people who are supporting you, but there's not that 100 percent sense of security because you're not in your language, etc. What's that been like for you?

Hermelindo

Very difficult. We are going to go to the nice part so that people don't get scared. And for those who are musicians, I hope that if any music student listens to us, they will also know that there are some very nice things about our profession. The problem is that many times the parts that are not so nice are not talked about. So you were talking, for example, about Japan... what you are talking about is that in Japan they organized all my tours. There were people who welcomed me and took me to places. I didn't have to worry about the language or where I was going to eat. I simply let myself be carried away by these people. And even then, even when everything was organized, I sometimes felt insecure. Ah, the other thing is that Japan is a super safe country, I mean, basically, nothing is going to happen to you, you are not going to be assaulted, nothing like that. However, once you are outside of your environment, you are outside of your reality. And this also applies to concerts. I'll give you an example that is literally music-related. Every place where you perform has a different acoustic.

Paula

Yes.

Hermelindo

So it happened to me in South Korea now, that for one of the concerts... I arrived in South Korea, in Seoul, and they picked me up, took me to a hotel and they sort of organized everything for me. So I went, well, I go in automatic mode, letting myself be cared for - I call it - so they take care of me. When they took me to the hall, that hall had... in a city that I can't even pronounce right now because, and I apologize, because it's a... "chen su" but I don't know it correctly because it's a place where... in a country that I don't know, a way of speaking, of expressing oneself differently. They took me to the room, and when I opened the guitar, the room sounded impressive. It was a privileged acoustic for the guitar. What happens? Well, that was my experience in South Korea, in that city, Cheongsu I think it’s called. I thought to myself: “Wow, this sound.” But you know, you don’t control the hall. The next day, I traveled to the second largest city in South Korea, which is "Pusan", written Busan. When I got there, it was a very large room, they had put a lot of chairs, and the acoustics were terribly bad. And the organizers... forgive me for that. But the guitar, right? It has a more timid sound. It’s not a piano; it’s not a symphony orchestra. And they put a lot of chairs. So, look, just that detail that you don’t control the sound of your instrument, the room in which you perform.

Paula

Yes, because I think that when we are studying, even when there are recitals, you rehearse in the recital hall, you are mentally preparing yourself. But even this should be an exercise in universities. Because it has really happened to me that I have gone somewhere to play and suddenly the cello sounds like, like it is not with me. I mean, the sound, I can't even hold on to it. And that has made me feel horrible while performing. "Wait, I wasn't expecting this." Like you say, it is something that is scary and can have consequences. I think that the mental part comes in again, right? Like that mental stability that...

Hermelindo

Well, and look, the teachers at the conservatories do it very well. Because they try to protect you in an environment where you feel comfortable. But when these problems happen to you in your professional life, already playing concerts, as you just said, that is where that personal growth comes in, right? What is your concept of fear, of unpredictability, of novelty, of the threat to one’s ego? Sometimes you feel like: “Wait a minute,” right? And the sense of control too. At least in South Korea, I felt like I had no control. By chance, they put me in a huge hall in the first city, well, that’s great. But I had no control there. And so, I think... I’ll talk about my personal growth… a lot of it has had to do with letting myself trust. At least professionally, I haven’t had any… bad moments or experiences that are so bad that I would say that this isn’t worth doing. So, many times, it’s been like letting myself be cared for, letting myself trust. Knowing that things are going to happen, they always happen, right? for the best. That is a philosophy of life, but I believe that yes, they always happen for the best, even when you don’t understand them at the time.

Paula

And I wanted to ask you because you have been doing all these things independently for many years, but when you started at the Conservatory, did you have any idea of ​​everything you are doing now? Because, I mean, I don't think I said it at the beginning, Hermelindo is not only a guitarist, but he is a composer as well. So I know that you had taken some courses at the Conservatory. But with everything you have done, I see that there is a very big correlation to your composition, the part as a composer and guitarist. So, how did that change?

Hermelindo

It was very natural in part because I came from San Sebastián and I didn't know. Many times I see today that, many times the programs, for example, of the Escuela Libre de Música, are wonderful in the musical part. But sometimes, you know so much about the musical environment that when you get to your undergraduate degree, you get to your master's degree, you get to your doctorate, it's like you have a lot of...of judgments about how things are done well. Honestly, Paula, what helped me the most was, I call it ignorance. I didn't know where I stood. My parents are farmers. So, I do know about the coffee harvest. I do know about the plantain harvest right now, which my father is happy about. In that ignorance of not knowing music very well, one of the advantages was that for me it was a bit like following my intuition. That well, I have to try to earn a living from music, I have to be good to people. That helped me, right? for the contracts. And many experiments that I have done... in fact I never said it, but when I look back... many of my experiments with books, with videos, sometimes projects that I have done that were novel, I did them because I didn't even know that it couldn't be done. I mean, I took the plunge and trying some of them out, suddenly, one out of ten things works. The other nine, well, we don't... we won't mention them today.

Paula

And speaking of all that, there is the part, right? like the beautiful part of traveling and learning, and what we have talked about fear. But one of the things I wanted you to talk a little about is that part as an independent artist, everything that it implies. We talked about achievements and how they look. But if you can talk a little about the part we talked about, "input" and "output." About everything that sometimes one puts in and what really comes out in the end.

Hermelindo

I have to limit myself here because I have a lot of knowledge of many artist friends who are doing different projects. So it's interesting to see how each one is doing it, to see the trends of things that work. I'm going to limit myself to my experience. But, traveling the world I see the trends, I see what works best, what works for this one, or for that one. But you're talking about "input versus output." The ideal is that if you put in an input, it's so that you get more output, right?

Paula

Of course.

Hermelindo

But I was talking privately with Paula. Because Paula, for those who are watching this and are my followers, Paula SantaCruz is an extraordinary Puerto Rican cellist. You have to look her up on YouTube. So she's a great artist. I'm talking with a great artist, right? I feel confident right?, about sharing her professional career. But we were talking privately about how sometimes we've felt like we are investing 90% to receive only 10% in return. So, what can I say about that? I don’t know, eh… what I do know is that at least I’m very happy to know that we are experimenting on many platforms. If I have to sum it up in one thing, we artists shouldn’t take it too personally. We are living in a moment of life that then… what happens? that… there are things that one does not control. I do believe that artists cannot take it too personally, because there are things that have worked for me that I did not expect. There were others that I swore that I was putting in all the possible input and that the output would come out, and no. What is really emotionally frustrating is when you are putting in energy, putting in energy, putting in energy. I know that musicians are going to listen to this podcast. So, many times, well, one is practicing a musical piece. One day: you repeat it, you repeat it, you repeat it. You go and play it for your friends, it was average. You go and practice, you take it to other friends, and it comes out… one day, it comes out well. Then you go to a concert, and maybe it turns out well, or it turns out badly. And you say: "Wow, so much effort for perhaps so little reward." In my case, I don't take it personally. And in a way, I'm at a point in my life where I don't care about the output. What I care about is trying to live, to make a lot of input with the freedom that, right?, not from ego, but from saying this... one's story doesn't matter that much in the sense that right?... that sometimes one believes oneself to be very important. "I come from Japan"... you know. And at the end of the day, there are also many very beautiful things, in my case as a christian, that God puts in your path. So, why question God's path? Right?, for me as a Christian. And if there is someone who is an atheist, well, for some reason the universe makes the perfect turn. And then, it seems like a lot of things happen… I don’t know why you should question what you are putting out versus the output, because at the end of the day, well, trying to give my best has been the recipe for me.

Paula

Yes. And I think that with the output... well, there is the input part, which is, well, the physical part of studying and the mental part of studying. I think they are super related, obviously, but I think there are two things about output. That we musicians, we are like in some way... the design is always to receive. Because one expects that you give so much in return, you are giving so much of your time, of your emotions... because it really is a very emotional profession. And then when you don't receive back that... it's not admiration, no. I don't know if it's always from the ego. But it is like a certain validation or like giving value to this work that you have done. That is one of the parts of the output for me, at least. But the other part of the output is the economic part. So, I think that's where frustration comes in. And a little while ago, Hermelindo and I were talking about how it's been a little difficult for us because even though this keeps happening, we still have this intense fire inside of us saying, "No, wait, we have to keep going". Like you say, "wanting to change the world." There are times when you have to decide how you're going to see that in life. Because there are people who decide: "Look, no. I want to change my career. There are other things that are important to me." So there are musicians who do that, but there are others like us right now who... who don't. We're just stubborn. There. “This is going to be it, this is going to be it.”

Hermelindo

You know that in that same conversation… (Aha) We are going to get into a topic that is not talked about much when one is studying, the economic issue.

Paula

Yes.

Hermelindo

Well, in the economic aspect, how do I manage to survive all these tours and all that? To start with, one of the problems is that I don’t have models because nobody told me: “look, do it like this, it might work better for you.” We don’t have training either, right? on a practical level of doing projects well. So I think that we have to accept that. And sometimes this also requires recognizing one’s ignorance, and for me, it has to do with mental health because… one doesn’t like to be told: “you don’t know what you’re doing,” right? (Mhmm) So, strictly on the economic issue, if you want to ask me any question, ask freely. But I think that just the fact that today you can communicate better, right?, you can write to a great cellist in France, and if you trust him, you say: "Hey, how much do you charge in this country?" In my case, in international contracts, each country works differently. How much they charge... So just having that detail of how much I'm going to charge in Japan, versus how much I'm going to charge in Korea, is something that helps you make, right?, a schedule before going to that country. And I think that one of the biggest problems is that we don't even talk about these issues.

Paula

Yes, honestly, I think that the economic part... and in that I have been very... I don't know if I should say irresponsible, but very neglectful. I had this job with the orchestra and for me, that job was my secure money, and I had a few other projects that I did for the love of art, as we say. But I know that it can also be monetized. What happens is that, well, at that time I was in Ecuador, there were certain limitations with the position I had. But in other cases, for example, this podcast I am basically doing everything myself. So for the moment, it’s not that I’m waiting: “Oh, I’m going to become famous and there will be remuneration.” No. It’s really to have important conversations with other musicians. That’s how I see it. But of course, there is another person who says, “No, but then you can put these ads in.” And well, and all that part… I don’t have that… like that nerve, I don’t have it developed. And I think that’s part of it. Understanding that we have to live and that things have to start to… Yes, do things for love, but if you can earn money and love at the same time, then sometimes it’s better.

Hermelindo

I feel responsible for delivering an important message. Especially if young people are going to listen to us... it is that we should not suffer too much either. Because that love that you and I feel for art, I know that there are people who are listening to us who feel it. That one feels or one says: "Oh, well forget about money because money is secondary. You have to be very careful because one sees Paula's career, one sees my career... in a certain way, we have been some of those who have stood out from the professional public education system in Puerto Rico, and then we have gone abroad. For those who are listening to us. You have to be very careful not to suffer unnecessarily. Because I wish someone had told me that when I was 20. That masochism, that thing about how a music career will not take you anywhere and then, consequently, well, things have to go wrong for you. Gabriel García Márquez said this a lot. Because when he wrote 100 Years of Solitude, the real anecdote is that he went to the post office... he wrote the novel... he spent, I don't know, I think a year and a half writing it. I don't remember the details. He arrives at the post office with his wife. When they get to the post office to send it to Argentina to see if they would publish it... when they go to send it by mail, he doesn't have enough money to send the whole book. And he says to his wife: "How much money do we have?" Well, they send half of it. And many people see this story, many artists like us, with that passion for doing things. And they see the story of García Márquez and say: "No, well then I have to live it all and leave everything, and one day I send my book by mail and I don't even have money." So, yes, it seems responsible to me to tell those who are training, the artists, or even, if there is an artist who is really having a hard time - and we are both among them too -... but if they are having a hard time, let them know, there are easy ways, right? And above all, we must also talk about the subject. I have so many friends in the arts who are depressed. (Mhmm) So, just know that we're with you, I mean. If you are listening to us and you feel that your career is not going the way you want, we have been there. There is not one solution, right?, you have to be constantly searching. In my personal case, I come from parents who gave me a lot of love. Financially, they couldn’t help me with my musical career. What did I do? Well, I had a job harvesting plantain, harvesting coffee. In fact, I earned my first guitar harvesting coffee. Then, when I was younger, I tried to find better jobs and I experienced many things. I worked serving food in a catering company, I worked in…selling cars and washing cars in a dealership. So I had to do that, and finally, the best job of my life was working at a gas station. This…because that was where I had the opportunity to take my guitar and practice. So also be careful with masochism, with thinking that things have to be difficult too. You can find ways, right?, at least to make things easier. What is true is that having said this…for the people who are listening to us and are not musicians…the artistic interest, I consider it very close to the religious interest. We are based on values ​​that are spiritual. These are values ​​that go beyond practical societies. So also, to the people who are listening to us. If you have an artist friend, surely your life is richer because this artist friend makes your life, eh... we are curious, we are funny, right? But also on a general level, if you are listening to us and you are someone who knows an artist, let us try to support art. Because us artists are in search of something that is like an spiritual search, that is like an inner search that unfortunately does not have a commercial return many times. It is a return, yes, very nice, internal. So please, those who want to support, right?, the artists, please do it. Because almost all of us live for a love that we feel internally, not for money.

Paula

Definitely. And you know, now that you say that… I start to think that musicians too, I think that something important is… yes, it is difficult, but I think that one, there are more people like you with whom you can connect, people who have that same love and I have experienced it. When I did my chamber music series in Ecuador, that was because of those musician's love. I mean, and it is surprising that in my career, throughout my career, when I have gone to Puerto Rico to do concerts or whatever, it has never been paid, but I always get people who want to play. So, I think that there are people who have that same value of: "We care more about making music and feeling that we are being active in our profession, -right now, right? It's not like every day -rather than not doing it." So I think that is one part, there are always others… other people who are willing. There are other people who do have a project that can pay you and who are willing to invite you, which is the other thing. But, above all, I think it is... it is difficult, and I was talking about it with Christopher... that when you are so passionate about the arts, which happens a lot, you have this fear that you are betraying your career if you don't do everything in music. Because we are taught that "your work has to be your passion and, at the same time, what brings you all the money." And the reality is that I think it is not like that for everyone. I mean, even if you have other things that are not directly just playing guitar or composing, you have to make a lot of proposals, and do things. I would like you to share a little of that, because everyone sees Hermelindo, and as you say, shares the things that are relevant to his professional career. But there is so much that you do behind the scenes that I would like you to talk a little about it.

Hermelindo

I have to be super transparent again because if you look at the projects I did last year...make an estimated number. You'll realize that you need a lot of capital to achieve these projects. Last year we presented the composition to San Telmo. It included nine musicians, it included a work team. I think there were 14 people behind it... it was one of the projects. This year I'm working on a recording. I want to be transparent, to say, because people can ask me. It would be good to answer them directly. How is Hermelindo doing these projects? A very important part for me is that in my madness, I never asked for permission. I wanted to do a project, I went, I did it. I never thought about the economic part. I have to thank people who have joined along the way, right? They saw this boy from San Sebastián who was going without fear; he was going to contribute good things to society, right? And yes, my work has been supported, right?, by... last year... for example, Coquí Charities in Puerto Rico, which is a non-profit organization that, because of their trust in my work, approached me and gave me, right?, this help. I say this transparently so that it doesn't seem like I'm doing everything my way because there's no way that one can do everything that way. So that the artists who are listening, know that there are always people who are also there to help. But, for artists, it's important to recognize that if you don't do something that gives feedback to society, that you're part of society, it's very possible that people will have a hard time even understanding the project. So, you asked me a question about how to feel. Well, the problem is that in art schools you're in a super intellectual, super artistic search. They have very... very high values. You're sharing with professors who have 30 years of experience doing these projects, they have 20 years. Obviously, their projects are very... you see them like: "Wow, I need to get there in 20 years." So, I don't even know what to tell you because I would have to go into detail. But I do believe in trusting in the process and not comparing yourself to anyone else. That is one of the biggest problems in art schools. In a certain way, you have models, right? of the great musicians, the great painters. Starting from where you can. Trusting that you are great too, right? That was very difficult for me; trusting that... it's not that I want to become the greatest of whatever, but that my work today, that I am going to do... I think today is August 7th? (Yes) I am lost.

Paula

August 7.

Hermelindo

August 7, 2024. I'm going to do it, try to make my work as big as I can, right? I think that artists do do that, those things... we're not here to compete. We're always very much in our own process. But also trust that we're going towards something big. There's a phrase from Lao Tzu: "A path of 10,000 steps begins with just one." So trust that what you're doing now is important, and do not get overwhelmed by where you're going and all that.

Paula

And what do you feel you've had to learn in this musical career besides playing guitar and composing? Other tools that you say: "Look, this helped me and maybe it can help you."

Hermelindo

This interviewer is good because, if you noticed, I went somewhere else, and she brought me back. That's definitely the previous question. Sorry I didn't answer you, but...

Paula

No, don't worry.

Hermelindo

There are a lot of skills. When I was little I liked to learn a lot. I still have to get close to people who are learning because technology is changing. The cell phones we have in our pockets today in 2024, maybe in 2040, they will see this and laugh at us. But you know, in 2040, that the cell phone I have... every two or three years, technology moves so fast, that we have to change it. This is our reality. That applies to all platforms. I had to learn specific tools. I had to learn how to do project management, musical project management, right? artistic projects. I had to learn how to write proposals, because this is the way we manage money, right?. I had to learn how to do my own social media management. I think in the future that will become clearer. But when I started to share my life on Facebook in 2007, one didn’t know what one was doing. In 2010 I started making videos and at that time, the internet wasn’t good yet. In 2016 I made a series of video blogs where for one day in a row, for 30 days, I made a video blog. In 2016, 2017. I did that for 30 days in a row. If you notice, it was a lot of trends of things that were happening. But they have to do, right? with the management of social networks. I had to learn in terms of finance how to be able to make projections. I have to clarify that it’s not that I’m an expert, but you have to read, know how to read the projections a little bit, right? economic projections if you’re doing a more advanced project. You have to learn to record well with the light, the image, how to arrange the images. And so the list goes on. But I want to answer your question with something that has been very important to me. It's important to know that we don't live life alone. So, for me, that has been perhaps the greatest learning of all those tools that I've had to learn... knowing how to trust in friends so that I don't have to do all the work alone, right? And that's a skill in itself. Knowing how to trust, how to delegate, how to make associations, right? To do work together.

Paula

And now that you mention relationships, I think that one of the coolest things about you is that you are a person who has a very varied, interesting, super interesting circle of friends. Of the few things that we have talked about now and about what people see on your social networks, right? And how do you manage to maintain, I don't know if you always achieve it 100%, but maintain those ties through this career that, well, is your dedication, your passion?

Hermelindo

Not to worry about that. Because there are many people who, it is true that... this year, right? I have worked with Antonio Martorell, the painter. I was working with the guitarist Adrián Montero, who is wonderful. The pianist Moé Takamatsu, I am working on some projects with directors, with interesting people. But one should not be living life strategically... I think that trust in God helps me. Because it's very easy to say: "Well, God is going to put me on the right path with the right people." But I know that in the arts, due to an intellectual phenomenon, there are many people who are atheists. I also tell you the same thing. Don't worry too much about people. You take care of yourself... I do know, I think, that my only... the only thing I have that's special is, you know, that I care about the people I love.

Paula

Mmhmm.

Hermelindo

So, I do believe that genuinely, try to help, try to do things for the better. Don't worry so much about who you have around you. If you have a lot of problematic people in your life, which has happened to me at some points in my life... I have more people who un-help me than help me, trust in working well. If you are an atheist too, you don't have to believe in God, but believe that, right?, that things will work out, and try to provide that to the people around you as well. Because I believe that all of us, all human beings, need a little bit of affection, love, to be listened to. And that is something that was very natural for me. It's not special to me. If you go to the countryside where I was born... well, if you go there, my aunt will come and meet you, without knowing you, right? and she will ask you questions, and so it is also a very natural thing. I think it has perhaps a little bit more to do with my reality in the countryside. I am, well, I am a country bumpkin.

Paula

Well, and one thing, I wanted to bring up a somewhat controversial topic. I don't know if you wanted to say something more about this... I interrupted you.

Hermelindo

No, that topic is simply that many people talk about it and think that one is like trying to strategically meet that person because they will lead you to... sincerely, I say it publicly, I have enjoyed it with the people that I have close by trying to give the best. I am not strategic about who I am looking for. I do believe that if you are in your artistic search, if your heart is clean to try to seek growth, perhaps you will attract people like you, who want to do well, who want to do projects.

Paula

Of course. And now that you say that, I think that also, yes, many times the educational environment that you mentioned a while ago creates... well, yes, one is wrapped up in one's own things. It is inevitable, I think, that there is no competition. Because the systems are made for that... there are grades, there are, that is, there is an average, there are recitals that are by audition, or auditions, etc. There is a certain competitiveness there. But I think it is important, in a certain way, to foster good relationships. And maybe there is this person who you would not have worked with before. But if you, yes... that has happened to me, if one continues to grow personally, you realize like: "Oh, look, I didn't work with this person because of... something that I believed," or because of something. It is like one has to be constantly renewing oneself in order to continue opening doors with other musicians. Because in the end, I love chamber music, and I think that what I like most is that it is something very intimate. But for that intimacy to exist, I feel it is impossible to do so if you have blocks with other people. Music is more honest when you are honest. And so as a piece of advice that I am living now, is to reinvent yourself and say: "I am going to meet more people," or maybe look at that person that you were not interested in talking to at some point, well, think about why that was. And start meeting and creating more beautiful things too.

Hermelindo

Let's go to the controversial question right now (Yes, the controversial one). But before you say that, you know that the following thing happens to me. I go around publishing my achievements on social media. But my family at home, they don't see the achievements. They see the frustrations. They see that when I go out like this in the interview, I put my hair up like... like one of those little birds. And then I dress well, I put on the... but it's... my family that's not what they see. My family sees me, and there is one thing that I do believe is important and it cost me a lot to learn. I was very idealistic by nature. I was born thinking that we were going to change the world, and I read Don Quixote and then I said: "damn, there are two crazy people just like..." and that was my nature. Then I realized that this hyperpositivism was doing me no good. Because what I was giving was an image of everything positive. It happens to me today that when I stand in front of the cameras, I get that positive personality, (Aha) positive. I want to share that if you interview my sister, if you interview my mother, if you interview Paula, because now you have seen it, (Yes) Christopher... I am frustrated all the time. Have you realized that? (Yes, yes, yes) I am always reflecting on: "How can I do it better? No, this is not going the way I want, that..." I got here... because we have to talk about this.

Paula

Yes, yes. Yes.

Hermelindo

I got here. And you can say if it's true or not that I arrived with a depression that lasted two days (Yes) that...

Paula

Yes. And the worst thing was that it was like: "I understand you Hermelindo, I'm feeling the same way". And we... and Cristopher looking at us like "What's wrong with these crazy people?" But it's real, it's real.

Hermelindo

It's real. So, if you interview my mother, my sister, you'll realize that I live trying to face reality. Before, it happened to me. It was hard for me to learn this, but it was like: "Oh, everything is going to be okay, everything is going to be okay." And I tried and out of 10 things I did, one came out well, right? From what I saw at that moment. So, if you interview my mother and my sister who see me all the time, my brother too, or my father, they will tell you that I live very realistically. I share the frustrations, which was something I didn't use to do. I came here and I said: "this was very difficult, this was very difficult. I'm depressed, I felt... there was a while...like two days. "Also that I came from Japan...

Paula

Jet lag.

Hermelindo

Jet lag... but also not denying those emotions, right? And today I am very, in my day-to-day, very realistic. "This is bad, it's going wrong, I have to find a way. How can we simplify it?" It's not about suffering too much. You don't have to suffer, but you do have to be realistic. Saying this... "Today I'm not playing as well as I would like, what can I do to improve?" And then it happens to me that they put the camera on me and everything seems perfect. But funnily, Paula saw me in that reality of me arriving frustrated, of saying: "Look, this is what..." It happened to me, I don't know if you remember that in Japan they asked me to play a piece by Johann Sebastian Bach, and in one of the concerts it didn't turn out well. I told you, (Yes) right? But in the end, the concert also went very well in general. That piece didn't turn out the way I wanted... right?

Paula

Yes, no... and in fact, just yesterday I was telling Cristopher: "Hey, it seems really crazy to me" because, I mean, I had met... I think we had met very sporadically, because almost the entire relationship was through Cristopher and it was like, you're the wedding godfather and there we shared a little and through text. But this is the first time we're living together a little. And I told him: "It seems really crazy to me because I didn't know this side of Hermelindo." He always tells me: "We're bohemians and everything..." But all that for me was... like I talked about it, but I hadn't lived it. And now it's like I say this week, I think I've talked about deeper things than I've talked about in months. Because you really have to find people who also want that or simply dare to say it. Because many times you even meet people and you're like: "Should I say this? should I not say this?" So, I think that's part of it, and with the podcast, I told you that I've realized that even though it's a mental health podcast, there's... since it's still a bit of a taboo to talk about these things... it always happens, I mean, you're not the only one. I think that everyone stops and is like: "Wait my artistic personality." But really, I think that the first thing is to remember that we're human, right?

Hermelindo

And also that, I mean, if I give a positive image, that doesn't mean that I don't have my reality that's a little more realistic in my day-to-day, right? I think that's where people get confused, that they see you so positive, positive, achieving, achieving, they say: "God, but this guy is like a superstar." But no. At the end of the day, one is... can I speak badly on the podcast? (Yes) I'm screwed. I'm screwed there... trying to challenge myself, right? From... hey Paula... I'm worried about the people who are listening to us on the podcast because I don't know about... we've been intense here. (It's intense.) And until what time do we have?

Paula

We have... I say like 10 minutes left.

Hermelindo

10 minutes. Oh, well, there are a couple of questions left.

Paula

Yes, I wanted to talk about a very controversial topic that we were discussing with Hermelindo these days.

Hermelindo

Well, for those who are listening, excuse us (Yes) for getting a bit passionate here.

Paula

Yes.

Hermelindo

Very serious. Sorry.

Paula

Not that I... well, now I think things are going to get more passionate. We were talking about continuous education. We were talking about how Hermelindo and I have doctorates. And there are two anecdotes that caught my attention. The first is that Hermelindo came down to our space here in the house, and he saw my... my doctorate diploma hanging on the wall. Then: "Oh, the diploma," I don't know what. And then we had a conversation that at least for me it was very strange to put it there. Because I did that and I have never been: "Oh, Dr. Santa Cruz." Like, in fact for me it is even uncomfortable to be called that. But then I think that one, it is the balance of saying "Look, yes I did this," that it was difficult and everything, to give it that value. But on the other hand, it is like we know that the system is not promoting that it is something that everyone has to do and that it is the correct option, and that really now it is so normalized, right? So I wanted us to talk a little bit about that experience because I think that for you it has also been something important.

Hermelindo

Well, the problem is that we can talk about like 20 things about all of that. (Yes, yes) But yes, for those of you who are listening, this podcast is directed by Dr. Santa Cruz and she has Dr. Hermelindo Ruiz Mestre as a guest. We are doctors in musical arts. But it is a very, very extensive topic. Please, tell me something that you have seen from me that could be interesting. (I mean) Maybe the value that is given to it...

Paula

I think that the value and also that the same thing that we were talking about the resistance to being called a doctor, or later saying: “No, I am going to give validity to what I did.”

Hermelindo

Well, on the subject of mental health, I love this podcast for that reason, right? It addresses that concern. One of the things that was most difficult for me in my entire life was recognizing myself, how to recognize my achievements. I don’t come from a family that was like, “Oh, wow, you achieved this or…” since I was little, so I had a lot of trouble because I have achieved things, right?, that have been, where I come from, they are great things, but I don’t feel like they are great. So, or on the contrary, sometimes something that is simple and I put too much value on it. So this topic that you are talking about is well… a little emotional because it has been difficult for me to recognize my work. One also has to be careful, if I start to think that I am the greatest thing in the world, no… that is not the reality, right? (Yes) But in the matter of value for those who are musicians, we are living through difficult times. Because higher education, universities have the challenge of having to adapt to the work reality. One is supposed to go to university for universal growth. University, right? University, a place where diversity comes together. But on a practical level, when it came to work, in my case, I often asked myself: "What's the point of having a DMA if it doesn't necessarily bring me a job," right? For example, at the university. I have my job now; I'm a professor at the Pontificia Universidad Católica de Puerto Rico. But I didn't always see how the input had to do with the output. So, I would like to share...I'll keep it limited, to my personal process of recognizing the talents I have, of recognizing my weaknesses, of recognizing the achievements I had, and also recognizing that there are many things, right? that sometimes because of dreaming too much... It happened to me in one of the projects, to be specific. I tried to launch a documentary in 2017. I thought it was easy. That documentary never came out. So, on a practical level, recognize that sometimes... when I analyze that project, it didn't come out because I didn't know how to run it well. I didn't have the skills. I didn't even know what skills it required. So, I see this topic of achievements as being quite closely related to the opposite, which is when you have to recognize that there are certain things you can still do better. Please give me a specific question about this because it is a difficult topic.

Paula

Yes, well, no. The first thing would be that... I don't want to, I don't know if I want to be so controversial.

Hermelindo

Please.

Paula

What I wanted to ask you is if you believe, right?, as a general advice that... What is the value that you give now to a doctorate? Because clearly it gives us both... there is a benefit, you can't say there isn't. In my case, I told you that I did it because I wanted to continue studying with my teacher. But, I think that sometimes there is this notion that: "Oh, the equivalent of this degree is going to be a job," but that is not the reality. And I think that frustrates many more people. So, in your case, yes, you have been... I think that you have done it well, or you have had to learn to do it well, right? And now you have this position for yourself. But I think that the process of that, did you have doubts about whether this was it or not?

Hermelindo

Well, that's your interpretation. (Yes) But if you ask me, I've had bad things and then suddenly I've had a good moment. Because honestly, what happened to me through my studies, I'm preparing myself for a professional reality that was very far from where I come from. From the reality of my parents, from the reality of my brothers. And at the end of the day, why judge? Why worry so much about this? In the end, many of one's thoughts don't have much to do with it. But on the subject of those who are listening to us, the subject of doctorates in music, which right now is very controversial... because students say: "Should I do a doctorate? What good will it do me? Why not?" Yes, I have to clarify, Paula, that I am now a university professor. But that position was given because I was dealing with alternate realities of music. It wasn’t that an academic offer opened up… and suddenly, well, I was like the favorite of the… of the jury. No, I was raising questions that responded to a current reality. And then the university trusted me to come in and create new programs. I do want to announce, right, that through Puerto Rico, and now I’m living in Puerto Rico… and through my program at the university, we want to adapt to the reality of now and be pioneers towards the future. The university has a vision of pioneers, of being pioneers. Those who know, for example, that I am a musician, know the history of the arts and culture in Puerto Rico… know that there are many changes happening right now, right? Both with the funds that the arts receive, if you can call them funds, right? The support for the arts is very limited. And at the Pontificia Universidad Católica de Puerto Rico they have committed themselves to the arts, to culture, to education, to the point of taking me there. I have to say that I didn’t get there the way… it wasn’t like everything went well for me. No, it wasn’t linear. In a way, for me, it was the opposite. It was that I was hitting so many brick walls that I went to do this project, it didn't work out. And always focused on doing things well. Well, yes, the university saw potential, we started collaborating, and now I'm there. For those who have doubts, the reality is that I almost got kicked out of my doctorate. Paula knows the story, and well, we would have to do another podcast for that. But I almost got kicked out of my doctorate. My director in my doctorate, it happened to me like Paula, that Dr. Santa Cruz had a cello teacher that she loved, she wanted to continue improving. I had Dr. Dieter Hennings-Yeomans. I consider him to be the most incredible musician in the entire United States. And so, for me, regardless of my degree, being there with this doctor, with this teacher, with this great artist, I already gained a lot. But in the work reality, I will conclude by saying the following… let’s not be naive. We have to read the history of universal art. You read how Johann Sebastian Bach survived, how Haydn survived. The way Haydn survived is not the same as Bach. The way Beethoven survived is not the same either. The way he survived, I don’t know if you know more current, my favorite Spanish composer, Manuel de Falla, was different. Um… the way William Ortiz survived, the teacher William Ortiz. Well, it would be nice to invite him here (Yes), right? to talk about those realities of his… and we cannot be naive. We have to know that we have to adapt. If there is something that human beings are supposed to have better than… than others, at least mammals (Aha) it is that we are supposed to be adaptive beings, right? Even mammals are, we are adaptable. And we can’t live, right? just a little bit with what worked for our teachers. I would dare to say that what is working for me, maybe worked for 80 percent of them, my teachers. I mean, they are all new ideas that I am creating, right? of… of how to create relationships on trips, how to make trips, how to finance trips, how to negotiate for concerts. It would be that… we have to talk about it, but we don’t talk about it. But today, too, the negotiations for concerts are being done with the peculiarities of our time. Even though my teacher, any of them, wants to help me, I also know that they lived from a technological reality, from a reality of funds in different ways. So we can’t be naive. We have to know, and we have to be, in my opinion, very adaptable. We have to adapt. Including trusting in the confidence right?, of people who know. Yes, I have sought out many mentors, I have sought to learn from many people, but I still have to learn. I would like to continue doing better projects.

Paula

Well, Hermelindo, I think we're going to have to do another podcast at another time, (Yes) because there are definitely still a lot of things left to talk about. But at some point, I'll see if I can kidnap you again, so that...so that you can do it.

Hermelindo

Can I ask you a question?

Paula

Yes...

Hermelindo

Yes? (Yes, yes.) For those of you listening to this, Paula is starting her podcast, right? These are the first episodes. What are you enjoying the most about the podcast? Because I know it's still like...this is nerve-racking.

Paula

Yes. I think I like talking to people because really all the preparation of: "Oh, wait, what am I going to say? and everything." I mean, yes, there is a process before recording a podcast, but when I sit down to talk to people, well, it's like... "Oh, look, there's a connection that is much easier, right?" And getting to know other people because even doing Christopher's, I learned a lot from him. And I think that each... learning from other people from another perspective, I'm enjoying it. The editing part is a little more difficult, but there we go. So I think that in that and learning new things.

Hermelindo

I love it. I congratulate you. For the next podcast, we can talk... I studied directly with Peter Salovey, who created the concept of emotional intelligence. I use it a lot in my classes, the theory of flow. So I congratulate you because I know that there is a lot of talk about... right? and you are touching on a topic that is not talked about.

Paula

Definitely.

Hermelindo

And in fact, we went in other directions and never talked about the subject, but I thank you very much.

Paula

We talked about a lot of things, I think that's part of it, that it's not a strict conversation... because it's not a psychological session either. But it's like everything you share about frustration and that, and reality. In the end, it's about sharing with other musicians and saying: "Look, not everything you see is that simple, and it's part of the process." So today you shared what you can share today, and at another time you'll share other things. So thank you for being here on Let's Fermata! Thank you all. I'm still going to share Hermelindo's information, all the links that he allows me to, I'll share them here on the podcast, and thank you for listening.

Hermelindo

And for those who listen, help us share too. (Yes) If you got to this point in the podcast, it means that you liked it. Yes. So now is the time for you to go and share it, and send it to your mom, to your brother, to everyone, right?

Paula

Yes. To all your friends, frustrated artists, to everyone (the artists) that you can. Thanks, Hermelindo.

Hermelindo

A hug.